View from behind the counter- as it happened. Laois vs. Dublin Sunday 5th June 2011
Edited version appeared in Laois Nationalist 7th June 2011.
Edited version appeared in Laois Nationalist 7th June 2011.
I served up the barstool pundits with their usual orders expecting talk to be rife about M.J Tierney’s last minute omission from the starting panel, yet Tom Dick and Harry all claim to have seen the move coming. The head on Harry’s Guinness possessing crystal ball powers no doubt, informing the three that McNulty never intended to go with the starting 15 named days prior, however surprised the Tv3 panel were.
From some sections of the pub I hear wolf whistles when Billy Sheehan receives a camera close up before the anthems. All I can think is…’really’??
After the crush to the bar counter, to stock-pile for 35minutes and settle down, Laois are already trailing, but the gathered are encouraged by the industry shown. On seven minutes a hobbling Eoin Culliton launches a kick out that Quigley picks out of the sky superbly.-“GOOD MAN QUIGLEY” shouts one, only to turn his back on him immediately after he scuffs his delivery-“INDA NAMEAJAAAYSUS”.
The Dubs kick on to delight of one solitary Artane man, as the ale gluggers bemoan the lack of Tierney’s left boot for placed balls when Donnagher’s 13th minute kick falls into Cluxton’s arms. Very harsh on the half-forward considering the distance and angle.
He has an unenviable task this afternoon, but all present agree Cahir Healy is the only person you would want to have marking Bernard Brogan, his double block 20minutes in focusing conversation. Tom reckons he is a far better operator with the hair cut tight, as if suggesting the old cornrows or locks once posed a genuine aerodynamic burden.
On 22mins Diarmuid Connelly beats Eoin “octopus” Culliton, and the pub falls quite. There was an air of inevitability, the same inevitability that has this crowd drinking at home today instead of making the Croker pilgrimage.
Saturday night’s bad choices were still breaking down in the bloodstream of most punters as the half came to a close, Dick threatening to go walk up the Devil’s bit instead of suffering a second frustrating period. Peter Canavan’s affable northern lilt is having a positive effect on those at the bar, because as one put it “there’s only one thing worse than being six points down at half time, and that’s listening to Pat Spillane and Joe Brolly talk $h** when your six points down at half time”.
Kingston ambles out on to the pitch, his sheer size lends himself to myth, and Chuck Norris themed jokes by those watching the game on the small telly. 43 minutes in and Dennis Bastick is introduced for the Dubs. “Sure he’s a Camross man, he should be playing for us” bellowed Tom. Selective citizenship, as the previous night it was the same bunch questioning many of Trapattoni’s player’s motives opting to line out for the country of their father’s birth.
On 54 minutes replays suggest that Daithí Carroll should have been awarded a penalty when he picked up a serious ankle injury. The contradictory opinions of the commentators has fuelled some sort of pro Dublin Tv3 conspiracy theory in the pub, it has plenty of evidence.
60 minutes in and Bernard Brogan’s 5th point prompts a six year old boy to cross his arms in a huff, and he is looking a bit teary eyed. “I HATE BERNARD BROGAN!!” he sing songs, over and over- which in retrospect should be considered our new county anthem, considering nobody knows the second verse to Lovely Laois anyway. And by the time Joe McQuillan blew the final whistle there were already calls to switch over to something more exciting, maybe the Fair City omnibus. 
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